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  • Writer's pictureWhispers from Beckey

Reasons To Celebrate

How are you doing today? I am feeling bright! The sun is out, the temperature is a bit milder, I slept last night and the children are back to school! There are lots of things to celebrate.

Both children were pleased to go back to school and see their friends again this week and resume some kind of routine outside of the house. They have both found it really tiring though; they had gotten used to being in the same room for most of the day each day, by themselves, with peace and quiet to concentrate on their studies, and have suddenly gone in to a very noisy classroom/playground, with lots of stimulation. They are loving it, but it has really worn them out! Give it a week or so and I’m sure they will have settled back in.

So, I ought to have more time on my hands to rest, theoretically… It turns out that I am not any less busy than when the children were here at home. However, much as I intend to rest I seem incapable of doing it. I have come to the philosophical conclusion that it is a character trait that is both positive and negative. It is wonderful to be able to do things and have a sense of achievement, but I do get worn out and stressed. I’m not sure whether I don’t know my limits, or whether I subconsciously choose to ignore them. I get bored so easily when I have not got some sort of project to be working on. Trouble is, often my head says ‘yes’ when my body says ‘no’! Case in point; this week a potential part time job came up that I am qualified and very well experienced for. I felt such a sense of excitement. Everything about it seemed so perfect, and a few years ago it was exactly the kind of job I was looking for. My first instinct was to write in and apply for it. It seemed like it had my name written all over it. But as I began to think about it rationally, it was very clear that while I am qualified and experienced, I am certainly not capable, physically, of doing the job at this point in time. This is probably my biggest frustration with living with this chronic illness – I just can’t physically do what my brain is telling me I want to do. I don’t want to accept that I am not the person I used to be, and can’t manage the things I used to do. I want to ignore it and do those things anyway. Sometimes I do, and have to suffer the consequences, and sometimes I realise it is just too much. I absolutely love all of the things I do and am involved in, but I really do need to learn what it means to pace myself!

The Zoom Body Shop parties I hosted the other week were such fun! Thank you again to my dear friend, Louise, for leading those. I am excited to be a guest at a Neals Yard pamper party on Zoom this evening! We do need these little nuggets of fun and friendship don’t we? My Lent commitment to my skincare routine is going fairly well. I am trying so hard to remember to do it every day, and my skin is definitely improving as a result. I hope I can keep the motivation to keep it up.

Until next time,

Take Care and God Bless,

Beckey x

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